Once upon a time, a veritable lifetime ago in pop culture years, Kim Kardashian was a virtual unknown, working as a personal assistant for her BFF Paris Hilton.
Before Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim's KKW beauty empire, and Kanye and the kids, things were very different for the two frenemies. Paris was the crown princess of the pop universe, riding high with her reality series The Simple Life and dominating social media, TMZ, and seemingly the world. It's crazy to think how much things have changed!
Although it's been more than a decade since they were last photographed together by the LA paparazzi, we thought it would be fun to remember all the times that Paris reminded Kim who was the number one "boss bitch."
Here's 19 hilarious instances when Paris let Kim know who was running the show, signing the checks, and opening the velvet rope...
In a 2015 interview with Entertainment Tonight, Hilton said that she and Kardashian-West had been close since they were "little girls." Despite this closeness, when it came to meeting Justin Timberlake, Keeks was little more than an afterthought.
"Paris knew that I had always wanted to meet him," Kim reportedly told Whitney Port back in 2010. "She just did it to be mean, I think."
Kim worked as Paris' personal assistant for the better part of the first three seasons of The Simple Life. During that crazy era, Paris was cruelly careful to limit the amount of time Kim appeared on camera, preferring to keep her organizing closets, returning clothes, and managing travel behind the scenes.
"Paris and Nicole made it a game of picking on Kim," Audrina Patridge told TMZ in 2011. "They pretended to be her friend, but they snickered about her behind her back."
Paris routinely invented embarrassing and ridiculous tasks for Kim during her tenure as a personal assistant.
During the scorching LA summer months, Kim was "in charge of Paris' coolness." This amounted to fanning her, keeping a supply of iced Fiji water on hand, and making sure the temperature was a crisp 73 degrees wherever they happened to be filming.
Up next, remember when Paris and Nicole called Kimmie a "ho" on their reality show?
Prior to her friendship with Richie coming to an abrupt, thermonuclear end, and Kardashian-West stepping up to fill that BFF-shaped hole in Hilton's heart, The Simple Life duo trashed the future KUWTK megastar on their show.
After being introduced to a girl named Kim Ho, Nicole said, "We actually know a girl named Kim. She's a ho."
Paris, a once frequent guest of the Los Angeles County Jail, made her debut as a convict in 2006 for driving under the influence. After having her license suspended, she continued to both drink and drive, often concurrently — and as a result, visited "the clink" on several more occasions.
Here, Kim helps Paris stand for photographers at an event hosted by Dom Pérignon.
In 2010, Hilton finally fessed up to a Los Angeles County judge that the cocaine found in a purse she was carrying during a traffic stop was hers — and that she lied about it. Without a sober Kim to drive her home, Paris' sloppy lane changes attracted the attention of the LAPD and sent her back to county jail.
A felony cocaine charge was eventually dropped in exchange for Hilton's guilty plea on misdemeanor counts of drug possession and obstruction of an officer.
And next, there was that time "that thing" happened with a drunken Nick Cannon...
Before their brief romantic stint circa 2006, Nick Cannon and Kim Kardashian-West spent many nights out and about with Paris, enjoying the LA nightlife.
In this photo, Paris is seen finishing off a Vodka-infused energy drink after Kim asked to try a sip.
"Sorry, Kim," Paris said. "I was thirsty."
Truthfully, neither Kim nor Paris are very good dancers — and this party, a few shots of which briefly appeared on The Simple Life, proved to be no exception.
It appears Kim may have eventually got to try that alcoholic energy drink, however.
And next, it was all about a Sidekick II, a Blackberry 8700, and two royally pissed-off rich girls from Beverly Hills...
Another one of Paris' many manipulations and mind games, the duo didn't actually speak for a couple of weeks. Instead, they maintained their professional relationship via text.
Checkout the bedazzled Sidekick II and the Blackberry 8700 that the unhappy gal pals are rocking!
"Please focus on finding me a beer stein, Kim," Paris eventually replied.
That year would be the last that Paris would be allowed to attend the festival. In 2007, she was officially banned from Oktoberfest for life, having "cheapened the festival last year." When Paris and Kim showed up in dirndl dresses and braids, Paris was actually participating in an advertising campaign for a canned wine brand — a definite faux pas for the beer-centric festival.
And next, there was that crazy thing with the kangaroo, and Paris' comment about "cottage cheese in a big trash bag..."
By this time in 2008, the duo's friendship had been stretched to the breaking point — as is evidenced by the "kangaroo incident."
Around the same time, Hilton appeared on the Chet Buchanan and the Morning Zoo radio show. Torpedoing what was left of their already fragile relationship, she said, "I would not want Kim’s butt — it’s gross! It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."
A running gag on The Simple Life was Paris telling Kim to be quiet, stop talking, or to just "shut the hell up."
Kim, either playing her character or just being genuinely that submissive back then, would always say, "Okay."
"Don't you know who I am? I'm Paris Hilton's assistant," she told the flight attendant.
All the while, an amused Paris watched Kim try to explain, cajole, and ultimately get nowhere with the customer service representative. Paris eventually boarded the flight to Las Vegas with her first class ticket, and Kim stayed in Los Angeles.
Back in 2005 when this picture was taken, Kim Kardashian-West was hardly a household name. She had appeared in a handful of The Simple Life episodes, appearing on screen for a total of less than ten minutes.
As the kids gathered around Paris to squeeze in for the shot, they pushed Kim into the background. Checkout the look on her face!
It must be strange now for Paris to think that her one-time closet organizer is the most famous woman on the planet, and certainly one of the richest!
When people think of Paris Hilton, they only remember back when — wait, does anyone even think of Paris Hilton anymore?
While both Paris and Kim have remained mum on what, exactly, the joke was about, we do know it had something to do with The Hills star Heidi Montag.
During an interview with Howard Stern, Heidi's husband Spencer Pratt insinuated it had something to do with his wife's breast implants, which for the record, were comically enormous at the time.
It's rumored that Kim's breakup with Reggie Bush was precipitated by a phone call from Paris concerning things Kim allegedly told her in confidence.
In 2010, at Club Lavo in Las Vegas, Kim watched angrily as Paris flirted with her ex Reggie. After the DJ played Paris' song — a mid-tempo dud called "The Stars Are Blind" — Kim grabbed the mic, yelling, "Now let's hear some real music!"
And then she demanded that Kim get out of the photographs!
"No, Kim! Only I may be photographed touching the babies," she told the future KUWTK star.